You wake up one day wondering where it all passed. You are finally 40 years old. God how? You mutter. Fifteen years back you used to hear that life begins at 40 but now you are here, are you now going to begin life? Of course not, you’ve been in existence for forty years already.
The book you decided to read from the beginning of the month is on the floor as you fell asleep trying to read it last night. Today is 13th but you are still on chapter 1. The sharp pains in your knees show up again as you try to squat and pick the book of the ground. The doctor says you should take walks in the evening to alleviate the pain but getting home at 8pm and leaving before 6am isn’t affording you that opportunity, after all that’s why cars were made for, commuting.
Last week you attended the funeral of a close relative. Seeing the person laid in state stirred up memories of the moments you had as kids. The mighty adulthood, with its massive arms had drifted you apart and you actually don’t remember the last time you two had a conversation. Weird huh?
You look on your right and there lies your wife, the mother of your 6 children, sleeping comfortably. It’s just 15 mins past 2 in the morning, you wouldn’t dare wake her up. You look around the darkness in the room but would have to walk to the living room if you want to put on any light in the house.
The life you are living is near perfect. There’s nothing you want that you cant afford. You started saving 100 GHS since you were 23. You however seem to have a void in your heart that you would want filled. . A woman can do that but that’s just for 3 minutes. You’d be back to default in 3 minutes.
Where is the satisfaction? After all the years of running around, what’s the point of it all? If you are going to die and leave everything, I mean your soul wouldn’t wear those shoes. Even if it would, it would just be a pair of them.
The Fix, God.
Probably, you should have spent more time with the relatives and the children. Or you should visit the hospitals and orphanages more. May be you should spend more time doing architectural designs for free for some of these social courses and probably, build more boreholes and help people living in villages with bad schools. Perhaps, you should start a farm. You’ve always complained of food prices and this might be your chance to cause a change.
More importantly, you probably should be visiting these Universities and offer sessions on life and guidance to these kids. Most of them are just moving through life figuring each day out on their own. They could do more with your help. You should finish that book and get back to reading four books a month. Return to gym. That potbelly wouldn’t disappear on its own.
Go back to church, the excuses you were giving are things you can find ways around if you really wanted to be church. There’s nothing holding you back now. The void you are trying to fill is actually the God factor you have neglected. Get back to Him and get back on track.
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord God, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘”
You are not the most loving person. Most of your co-workers are afraid of your presence. The kids stop whatever they are doing when they see you and barely have discussions with you concerning anything. You wouldn’t want to mend the relationship when they are over 25 right? Maybe you can mask your honesty. Deliver the truth in love. The Bible tells you to let you speech be seasoned with salt in Colossians anyway.
You have been a good provider for the family, its time to show them love also. Money doesn’t cover everything. You might seem lost but waking up as this time has afforded you the opportunity to start better again. Life has given you a second chance to do better. You have always wanted to let the world see Jesus in your eyes. Now is the time.
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